Empathy…the ability to feel compassion for what someone is experiencing without judgment. How good at that are you? I have to be honest…my natural response, the unchecked knee, has a “Get a grip, suck it up, try harder, you’ve got to be kidding me!” jerk reaction. I’m sure there are many factors that play into this, but I’m confident of this, I need to change.
Why is it that for many of us, our first thoughts are not of sorrow for the person suffering, but what they did to deserve their lot? As is the case with so many of our human foibles, I believe there is a self-protective motive behind it. We are always trying to reassure ourselves of our invulnerability to suffering…if the person did something to put themselves in the situation, well then, we will just be smarter, morally superior, or more disciplined and avoid it. Also, I think if we can find a way to blame the victim then we won’t have to feel so much sorrow, or ask the hard questions of God’s fairness.
I believe this tendency is exponentially worse when observing someone suffer from a mental health diagnosis or substance abuse.
What words come to mind when you see a homeless man; lazy, junkie, nut-job? Next time give yourself a moment to engage your heart, could it be he is; tortured, afraid, trapped?
