I am so grateful for this house teeming with sprinting, howling, sugar-crazed boys. Zack is turning eight and God's grace is surrounding his life. He is attending a private Christian school with high standards for behavior; teasing this socially awkward, painfully quiet boy, will not be tolerated. Not only was he not teased, he was embraced.
Things are looking good, his teacher adores him and she constantly seeks to understand and develop ways to encourage Zack's success. Surprising, however, that she would call in the middle of his birthday party during the scavenger hunt; and yet it is always like this, always without warning.
Here it comes. Churning, churning, its rhythmic pursuit coming for my heart. Its dragging me into its relentless grinding teeth. Huffing, huffing, can you feel it? The stinging heat from the steam. It's almost here. The whistle threatens to blow its terrifying voice. It's pulling into the station now, time to climb on board for yet another harrowing ride to places unknown, guaranteed to be dark and desolate, on a track that has no end.
"Satan is talking to me, he says he's going to kill me. He put a snake in my desk." It took her less than five seconds to repeat the words my son had spoken that would shake me to my core. Zack would rather pluck his own eyeball out than raise his hand in class, but on this occasion it just couldn't be avoided. His second grade teacher approached; he needed to talk to her in the hall. His recounting of this terrifying experience on a sunny day in May sent chills down this young enthusiastic teacher's spine.
Phone still in hand, I gaze out the sliding glass door. An explosion of excitement, the boys have found another clue. They go charging off toward the next destination.
Somehow I made it through the birthday party and allowed Zack to bask in his birthday bliss. The next day however, he was questioned. Zack would explain that the snake was very real; it was a Black Mamba and it was striking at him over and over. He recounted how he needed to use one of his pencils to fend it off. An epic battle is raging, with an enemy far more daunting than Darth Vader, and I feel as helpless as Luke Skywalker slogging through icing.
That is truly a frightening story. But what do you believe really happened that day in school - do you think Satan actually did talk to Zack or do you think somehow his mind played a trick on him? Or did you think one way at the time and then in retrospect, change your opinion on it? I do think spiritual warfare is a very real thing, but when a child that young says something like this, I don't know what to think.
ReplyDeleteI think initially I saw it as completely psychological. You have to know we come from a long line of mental health issues, and I have a Bachelors in Psychology, so that is my first inclination. Later, however, as my faith matured I had to start reconciling my faith with it...and came to the conclusion that it is both.
DeleteThe black mamba.....thank you Steve Irwin for educating our kids about that species of snake! Wow....I think I would have brushed this off as my kids overactive imagination during a very boring session of class lessons. Especially if that wasn't the very first thing he told you when you picked him up at school! If it really was a hallucination, you'd think he'd be terrified! Wanting to go home and definitely NOT go back in the classroom to his desk! I don't know, I think the way people react to what kids say or do can sometimes fuel the situation. Almost like when my kids would fall down and hurt themselves, if I reacted all worried and scared, then they would almost immediately burst into tears. But my husband, he would say, oh you're ok, no problem, you'll be fine.....and off they would go. I wonder what would have happened if the teacher would have gone back with your son at recess and helped him clean out his desk and showed him that there were no black mambas or even tried to reason with him....your son is extremely smart.....he knows intellectually that black mambas do not inhabit California. .....what scared this Christian teacher was most likely that your son said that Satan was speaking to him. I am dying to know what she told him in response to that!
ReplyDeleteAgreed...wasn't your son really into Steve Irwin at the time too? Overactive imagination is an interesting concept...I certainly remember having my own "dark closet" visions. Difference being, the next day you would have questioned me about it and I would have known it wasn't real. You can talk to Zack about this event today, and he remembers quite clearly the details and the fact that he had no doubt that it was real at the time. Interesting that you would expect Zack's superior reasoning skills to help him wade through his anxiety...black mambas don't live in California. It however was the year before in Ms. Willy's class that Zack was convinced that Japanese bombers were flying over the school every time a plane flew over...his anxiety...his fear over-ruled any logic. I can't remember what the teacher told him.
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ReplyDeleteOops ... trying again... first one didn't publish correctly.
ReplyDeleteClearly there is so much here that can't be understood by people who haven't lived or faced this reality ... thank you for being courageous enough to speak of insidious darkness that pursues the weak and vulnerable, young and old alike.
I believe children often are able to spiritually see or hear what adults have learned to dismiss. The reasons we require a savior are not subtle, they are big and looming, like what you are describing ... like the life-shaping lies whispered to children, of fearsome snakes and threats of death. The serpent story you are telling is the repeated image of fallen world that goes back to Eden -- something many Christians would prefer to interpret as less extreme and more "manageable."
Some will dismiss this description of Satan and snakes because it comes from the mouth of a child. However, I would say this unfolding story is bold evidence for why every one of us requires a supernatural Rescuer and Healer.
This is a echoing story we all share in a thousand different forms.
Well told. Keep going.
Well put, KJL
DeleteIt has been a long road of reconciling what I know about mental health with spiritual welfare...but I think I've finally concluded that essentially certain brains are more vulnerable to a frontal attack from the enemy.
DeleteI remember a time when an atheist/agnostic friend insisted her young daughter saw and interacted with ghosts or what the little girl called, "angels". What IS that? What was it in her case? Was it an overactive imagination or something more real?
ReplyDeleteAs an only child (developmentally), I had visions of imaginary friends. I don't really recall how real they were, but I know that the subject takes up space in child development textbooks. It is not rare. I had many vivid and irrational fears of my closet and the dark and monsters under my bed when I was little. Fear. Fear took root and grew in my life for quite some time.
So, at what point in this conundrum does one worry that we have crossed some imaginary boundary of acceptable fears? How, on earth, could a parent ever know what was reasonable fantasy and what was not? I have no idea what I would have done had I been Zack's parent or had I been Zack's teacher. I have no idea. None at all.
What role does the Enemy play? I don't know. But I have learned that fear is only a feeling and that fear has only as much power over us as we give it.
There are a lot of "Imaginary friend" theories that I have heard from strong Christ followers that believe that there was a seemingly demonic influence. I think fear is the key to understanding this, it seems to be the common denominator. Whether the "imaginary friend" helped them cope with fear...or whether the "imaginary monster," terrified them. Fear is the fuel for sure.
DeleteWow, so blessed to have you all chime in on this...a tough subject for sure!
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